Is it really 2017? It’s been hard to tell because it sure seems 2016 lingers…
At this very moment I am overwhelmed. I’ve been on a mission to change my focus this year and every day I’ve had my face in my Beautiful Word Bible (NIV) forcing myself to slow down. I’ve so far studied the book of Acts and finished Ephesians today.
Not a huge feat, but it is when I’m still not getting a full night’s sleep.
When there’s puking and diarrhea each week.
When there are kids to take to school and pick up.
When there are doctor appointments and therapies to go to.
When there’s groceries to buy. Meals to plan. Then to make those meals.
When there’s the treadmill to run.
When there’s a ministry to run.
When there’s a pile of clean laundry on the living room floor just waiting to be folded. At least it is clean, right?
Maybe overwhelmed isn’t the correct word. It’s tired. I hate using the word tired, it’s been so overused in my vocabulary lately and people are probably tired of hearing that word uttered from my lips. But it is true. I’ve been told I take on too much. While that list, and of course I’m sure I’m missing things, looks long and arduous, I cannot take away those things and I cannot add more. Why? Because many of those things cannot be taken off my plate. Some things that technically could be taken off my plate, like the gym time or running a ministry? Those things bring me life.
And life is what I pursue. I want to live my life to the fullest, even in this season of pure exhaustion. I want to lean into this period of time God has pressed upon me to slow down. Slow down my life. Slow down my reading of His Word.
In fact in my reading of Acts, because I slowed down and took my time, I learned that The Word of God will always spread and flourish (Acts 12:24). Even if I can absorb a fraction of what is fully there, it will change me. Teach me who my Father is even more and want to emulate him. Draw me in relation with him even more. A desire to fulfill that relationship vs ignoring it. In fact, if I am obedient to the Holy Spirit’s promptings, the Holy Spirit can do his work and more people can believe (Acts 13:4-12). And that’s where I want to be.
I want The Word to flourish inside me, nourish me, so that I can be a living vessel for the Holy Spirit to gain more believers. So even if I’m tired. Overwhelmed. Exhausted… I still have a responsibility as a follower of Christ, to foster that relationship and bear fruit.